Lessons That I Have Yet To Figure Out

The stupid work for the past few days..
The irritating environment..
The vexing combo of the people plus the files..
adding on the reluctancy to head back to the office for the last wkend..

Kinda makes me ponder upon these words.

Contentment.
When, where and how is ever enough.

Self-Conciousness / Reflection.
What is the measure being socially, ethically and publicly polite, courteous and well-mannered.
The definition of being 'right'. The etiquete required.

Attention.
Those who display of the needing for attention are usually the more out-spoken ones?
Or is it true that the less out-spoken ones with the heck care attitude are the least attention seeking kind.



During the wkend while i was nau-ing at home, I came upon one of the random entries i have made in my note book couple of months ago.
It was titled "Who are You".
This entry was inspired by a person named "Issac". A regular guy who enjoys clubbing. Who has a career in the almost considered as the iron rice bowl area. But he gave it all up.
The reason of his forsake here in Singapore is of his love for Tango.
His passion for Tango.
He gave up all he has in here to go on to pursue a degree (for the sake of having a degree to please his parents) and at the same time, pursuing what he loves most, learning about Tango.
And all these, in a foreign country where he has never never been to before. The very first step he taken upon Argentina, it's a make it or break it situation.

And so, who are you? What is your calling? Where do you stand? Where do you belong?

Are you simply just a puppet who is lead upon by it's nose?

I am.

I grew up in a otherwise normal environment. I go to school. I enter the workforce. Eventually I am to get married, have kids, grow old and die.

I am inside a square.
Where all the dimensions are fixed.

I can't bend it.
I can't adjust the length nor height nor the width.

Or can I?

What do you want?

Where did you place your happiness at?

At the plate of work? At the plate of family? At the plate of partners? At the plate of friends?
Or at the middle stem that is balancing the plates on both sides.

"Disgusted"

Can someone able to enlighten me how am i suppose to show respect to someone my elder, who is like my mother's age. Ok, we are colleagues. For wearing a BRIGHT BLUE blouse to a FUNERAL.

Am i the only weirdo here playing to the rules or what.
I guess not because even H wears black today.

I am so so disgusted.

Simple respect. None.

What has the culture here evolving to?.

A Pat on the Back.

http://www.worldbaristachampionship.com

http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/497511

When he is someone you know of, you really feel proud of him.
=)

Ad for sponsorship

I'm desperately seeking for sponsorship.
One who is willing to fork out 80k for me to achieve a degree in law (3years of studies here) and including a year of overseas studies (that is if i don't fail in my first year).

The reason? So that i can kick the ass of the dumb idiotic asshole LEGAL ASSISTANT here in this very company i'm working at.

Virus Infection versus Food poisoning

Finally on the road of recovery from the fever, the running nose, the throat irritation and cough.
But before i can be sure i'm 100% ok, i'm hit with food poisoning.
But i guess i'm still ok because i didn't diarrhoea yet. Just vomitting.
When you vomit, it means the reaction is within your stomach. Not yet to the intestines that far. Coz if so, it will be diarrhoea and which means the bacteria are rather deep in.

I'm just consoling myself.

Restless or plain lazy?

I have been saying, ever since i was back from Cambodia, my pace at work is disasterous.
Apart from being weak last week, with my nose kept running away from me. I was hardly at full force.
Blame it to post-holiday symptoms.
Hence, for today, i specially dressed in more office appropriate attire which i thought would help me to have more form in working.
But i think i have failed. Maybe i'll do better in tees and jeans.

Anyway, i'm excited.

Coming August, i'm heading to Hongkong!!! Yeah!!!
Mama snakie and i were discussing that we shall go to the Disney land. It's a must must must GO!!!
I'm really excited.

Restless versus Excited!!!

I'm the koala in lamp! Stand aside, Genie!

I remember once. I told B a score for one of the football match. He bought or rather we bought together? Can't exactly remember but he won. He made some $$$.

Then... he still hadn't learnt his lesson. He got from me another score but he didn't buy and the $$$ just flew off like that.

It's funny how some people will once bitten twice shy and it obviously doesn't rub some onto my B.

Just last week, he suddenly asked me again. "answer quickly, Italy and Romania."
And "draw" was what i shouted.

It doesn't matter that we were actually in midst of a squabble.
What matters is that he let the $$$ flew off again. -.-'''

There goes my divine powers. GRRR....

Zoo Finally

The long awaited trip to the zoo.
The long awaited to-be-published photos of the trip.
This was the trip to zoo which B had promised ages ago and which we finally executed the trip in 11th March of 2007.




































Thank you B.

Four movies in a row... okie, maybe not that in a row. But four movies within a week seems abit too much.

Having watched 'Kungfu Panda' with my B on Thursday night, we went on to catch "The Incredible Hulk' on Saturday. Just because he wanted to watch the transformation of the hulk and me simply, for Edward Norton's sake. *chuckles*

And Sunday was a girl's outing with Chicky for movies again.
Almost back to back, for the 'Made of Honor' and 'Sex and the City'.

I wonder when will such times come again after she left for UK for her studies in early September.

I will miss her.

***************************************************

Lately, i seem to be in out of sorts.
Feeling weak.
Guess i'm still unwell.
Did i really take things for granted too much that i didn't care for the vaccination before i set off?
Well, can't be undone.
But i'll definitely be better!

It's kinda weird how time flies...although it is a known fact and probably i should have accepted it long ago, still i have that feeling of being amazed by it.
Half a year is gone like that.
Another quarter of year, it will be two years of extreme high and lows.
We have been squabbling. "Fighting". Did we? Or most of the time, it was just one-man show.
But end of the day...
*blushes* I love my B. =D
I pray for his unlimitless patience and endurance to accept my wilfulness.
His love be growing like the long bean tree, reaching beyond the clouds.

And me?
Happily cuddling by him.
And i'm very very happy.

And B is happy because the koala is happy.

We may not be achieving much at this stage of our lives.
But where is your view point?
My view point is that, i'm contented. =)

I have a job that can (on a high chance basis) protect me for a long time.
I have B who is loving me much.
My folks are still on this earth.
My friends are doing almost just as good.

See? I'm easily contented.

One of the topics during the girl's outing yesterday was that Chicky asked me.
"have you ever dream or hunger or wish to be dressed in the bride gown?"
Because, even for those who have no faith in marriage do wish upon one time or another to have a chance to dress in the bride gown.

And my answer was, nope. Never. Even for the first marriage. I did not have that desire.
For that instant i felt i don't belong to this planet earth.
Then where do i belong?

I just feel that, the most important things is only when you reach old age then you will find out.
It's not the gown. It's not the location of the honeymoon place. It's not the size of the diamond.
But rather, it's the human spirit within.
The heart. How big is the love.
Is it ever growing non-stop or will it wither and disappear.
That's what is important.

8th June 2008 -- Last Holiday Day @ Cambodia

Flight back home is due at 12.15p.m, Siem Reap Airport.
Before packing the bags and tidying up of the holiday mood, Yogi and i rushed off for a last minute shopping as well as a last feeding session for my camera.


















Looking at the houses alongside of the riverbanks... i started to feel all kinds of knots tying inside me. Inside my heart.
There are so much more photos which i could have taken... but i didn't.
Pity? Sympathy?
I don't know.
I only know.. i have learnt that these people have nothing.
Yet, they do look happy so.
It's seems like... if you don't know what you don't know, you will be easily contented.
But if you don't know what you know. Then there will be lots of unhappiness.

These people can live without air conditioning. Even with a fan in their room, they don't turn it on. They don't feel the heat.
We do. Because we are accustomed to the cool environment. We are dying from the heat.
We have grown up in such a luxurised surrounding that we have forgotten the basics of this world.
The contentment that comes within.
Alot of things are really just necessities.

Towards this slow pacing world.. i actually felt some kind of a peace inside.










Nice paintings found in one of the shops at Center Market.


This painting here, can now be found at Yogi's home.





"The King"









Satisfied Customer! Haha.. that's Nat with all our paintings.
Yogi bought 3!!
Nat, Jason and Chicky had 1 each and they shared another one for their boss.
& I had 2.



The plane has come to fetch us home sweet home.
='( actually, i have that bit bit of "bu she de"...


This cute little plane that has parked besides our plane.



I miss Cambodia. Despite the living conditions. Despite the endless mosquitoes.
Despite the filty streets. Despite the roaming dogs.

My first official holiday. The first experience that comes with it.
I have learnt a great deal from this trip.
Unlike the trips before which are merely come n go.

I have longed for this trip. I have like this trip. I have learnt from this trip.

And i appreciate what i have even more.

7th June 2008 -- 3rd Day @ Cambodia

After the visiting of the temples on the 2nd day of our trip, we were pretty worn out.
We spent almost the whole of the morning having our breakfast, eating our favourite toast bread which really, it's the best i've ever tasted. For a person like me who don't exactly fancy toast baguette, also fell in love with the ones they serve here.
Of course, after filing our stomachs, we were lazing around and chit chatting of which i find it more like a debate. Lolx..

And then, we had gotten one of the workers at the Guesthouse to drive us around with the Jeep, looking for paintings and just shop around. And of course, we regularly went for our daily massage too.



This is our driver and his jeep.
p/s: This is not a normal jeep. It's used to be a police car!!!.




The "Paint Alley" ok.. it's just a row of 3 stalls cum residential zone which sells the paintings and we can watch the painter at their works too.






The streets.




Their wet market.


The row of fruits stalls, aka the healthy zone?


This "drinks mixing counter" here, serves only to VEHICLES!!!
Clients mainly the tuks-tuks.


This restaurant serves decent and nice food which we do wish we had find out earlier.






As the sun is resting~~









"The Soup Dragon" where we rested our feet for the last night at Cambodia.




The 'fruitss' of our shopping during the day.
A bed of dresses and scarves.

"Angkor Wat"

The famous of all.

The reason to come.

It may not be the largest ground.

But the authority that it holds, wins them all.

Okie.. i'm cheating here... in fact i was disappointed when i got to the entrance of Angkor Wat.
Why? Simply because the top of the main centre tower had collapsed.

=(

The last of the 3 temples on our agenda. We nearly nearly given it a miss because the ladies were exhausted from the heat.

Still, we managed to literally crawl our way towards the entrance which was at least 200meters in length. And then, another stretch of 200meters to the central zone of the temple.

Long way if you ask me. Very long way.

I could not believe what i saw to convince myself that it was that worthy.

Not that it was not grand enough.

But rather... the works that was going on to repair what was remaining of the stones.
The net that was collecting the debris above our head.
The challenging eroding high stairways that we were denied of.
Somehow... it kinda ruin the impressive sight.
Affected my perception.
Tainted my view.

Yogi and i did climb onto the forbidden stairways to take pictures though.
Although there was this disappointment. But nontheless... i love it.

I will come back again.

For i have my regrets not capturing the nights of Angkor Wat.

I will be back.

6th June 2008 -- 2nd Day @ Cambodia "Angkor Wat"

"Ta-Prohm"

A place of ancient trees.
Hundreds of years on them.

Through the rain, shine and wind.
They have weathered all.

Sturdy as they can be.
Strong and firm to the ground.
A set of beliefs firmly planted
Into the ground they hold so tight.

6th June 2008 -- 2nd Day @ Cambodia "Ta-Prohm"

"Angkor Thom"

It's huge. It's majestic. It's awesome.
It is THAT difficult to imagine how the people, about a thousand years ago, built this magnificent structure.

Although upon my entrance to this great landmark, i was sting by a wasp or something but that didn't deter nor affected the rest of the journey. I supposed mainly it's that the sting was quickly recovered, thankfully to the driver who had brought me the ointment when requested by Mr. Yogi bear. Yup, the guy in the red t-shirt.

Some of the pictures were taken whilst the sting on my hand was still swollen and red.

The journey through the majestic structure within, had me in awe of the 'architects' of the past.

The scrulptures encraved on the walls.

The beauty within.

Words are not enough to describe this scenic that stood before me.

You have to see it to feel what i was and had been presented with.

Angkor Thom. A prelude to me while i was imaging what surprises the Angkor Wat can bring to me.

6th June 2008 -- 2nd day @ Cambodia "Angkor Thom"

5th June 2008 -- 1st Day @ Cambodia

The air plane that brought us to Cambodia, Siem Reap Airport. =)

The people : Mr. Yogi Bear, Nat and her husband, Jason, Joyce aka chicky and me. =D



Siem Reap Airport. Felt more like a resort instead of an airport. heehe...



May i present our accomodation for the next 4 days, 3 nights. "The Coconut House"








The 2nd level. It's cosy de lor... Just that, i'm staying at the first level. =p











Our first day at Cambodia was simply walking around, checking out the town.
And this is the first meal that we have, at one of the local cafes.



One of the pleasantful sight that welcomes us. Pretty paintings, don't you think so? =)








After a couple of hours of walking and while waiting for the Night Market @ Siem Reap to open business, we rested our feet at this "Island Bar".


We do look tired, don't we?








Our happier couple. Trying their best to smile great for the camera and hides their fatigue.











While searching for a place to ease our hungry stomach, this sight of bbq-ing of the whole chicken certainly only makes the stomach cries louder.











Finally, we settled at this "Dead Fish Cafe" for our dinner.












The decor of this restaurant is great. The quarterly rising level which circles around and sometimes zig-zaging across the room.
The restaurant is further separate into places specially for the diners and another simply for those who wants to just laze around. So either you opt for the proper table and chairs or sitting on the floor.
We had opt for the proper table and chairs as we are having dinner and not just drinks and snacks.
After dinner, Joyce decided for a pot of tea and this lovely teapot really catches our eyes.





My first time in Cambodia.
What welcomes me when i first stepped onto this land, is the simplistic and the rural laidback lifestyle i have seen yet. It's different from what i saw in the neighbouring country where i used to frequent.
Although the living conditions are poor.
The heated weather. The scorching sun.
The flies that's easily over populated the human species on this land.

Yet, i'm fascinated by it.

I have also learnt.
Alot of things are really part of the luxury and not necessities in our lives.
We have overlooked that sometimes, having the most basics in our lives is enough for that contentment.

We really do not know how fortunate we are, till we seen the worse and the worst is yet to come.

Can't wait for the tour to the temples tomorrow.