my bro called me a 'sha mei', a name i used to give for my juniors back in snk.
now i'm one.
just coz i didn't realised my passport had expired when i readily agreed to go JB with him.

i do have alot to write. But it seems time is so limited.
Somehow i know where the stupid problem lies in.
In my ever indecisive part of me.
Wants this yet refuse to open the golden mouth.
Decided on something but worrying too much about the pros n cons.
Principles seems far and away.
Vowed not to be what i detest but the more i was drawn to it.
No one is prefect, but there is nothing wrong to have errors in trying to be perfect.
We all fall. But we can't forget that we have our hands to pull ourselves up and legs to stand up straight.
Pighead!!! you are one big silly pighead!!!
Why always hold onto beliefs that you know will pull you to death one day?!!
The word is open. Remember!!!
Alot of things are mere transits. However, that doesn't mean it will not become a terminal.
To allow nature to takes it's course also needs some pushing too.
Just like a waiting hare will be eaten by a fox one day!!!

runner.avoider.coward.idiot.
That's me.

Thought alot these days. Bro had wanted to meet up with me, knowing that i was feeling lousy. But i rejected. Then a dear friend sms me and had alittle sms chat with me. A good reprimand was what i need.

And what i have learnt from this lesson is that, if i ever allow this to happen again, it will top the chart of my regret list.

Alot of thoughts been flashing through my head these sleepless nights.
The urge of strangulation of myself is pretty strong.
Find myself turning into a monster.
Maybe i do have split personality afterall.

Suddenly even fear of the path on way home.
Fear of the darkness.
Two sleepless nights and still counting.
It's a path of self-destruction.

Confusion sets in. Insecurities bites. Fear dominates.
What else is happening?

I remember a dear friend once commented that "i do not need to have a partner. Am jolly well doing fine on my own".
That pretty much summarise parts of my thoughts too.

One part of me is enjoying every moments with B. The laughter he brought. The care i know he has for me. Things we both have done for each other. Time sacrifice. Efforts made. Progress seems good.

Still, there is this insecurity existing. Slowly creeping and affecting.
Can't exactly pinpoint to words...just insecure.

Did i mention that the dumb dumb office i'm working in, the super duper old building i'm at, had it's air-conditioning broken down for the umpteen times and for the very first time, black out too???!!!

Sigh...everyone was more than argh kinda feeling. Well for the least, i do have the auto-saving function which will some how help abit. But poor mama snakie...access doesn't have that function de lor.

Then, the gan cheong spider created a joke among us. Sa and i were chatting at my area when suddenly gan cheong spider came back and walked out within seconds making a hilarious comment. "Oh, i can't see!".
Sa and i then looked at each other baffled before bursting out into laughter. For goodness sake!, whaddya mean by can't see wor?..lolx...

Later, i continue with my stuff, work that doesn't involve my pc. Then Sa walked by and asked, "kel, u can still work arh?" And my reply was "of course la... i can see what!" A that moment, the gan cheong spider came back from loo break. Boy, i hoped i wasn't too sarcastic by that comment. Though many times she does deserve that sarcastic comments from me. Oops.

For example today, i made another comment about her to receptionisnt. I asked her:" so u going to ask that 'not busy yet act so busy and make so much noise' about lunch order?

Oki, i'm mean.

**********************************************************************

Haven't been updating about the progess of B and i...
Seems like things has been quite 'routine'...it's like is the honeymoon period going to be over???
When one does something new, it does have the 'feel nice and surprised feeling'. But when the nice and caring gesture is repeated over and over again, the novelty definitely wears off.
Maybe that's why B said that we have to entice each other with something new and want to be interested in loving more each day and not out of the honeymoon period so soon.

At the same time, communication plays a big part ...The time to be set aside for chatting...the contents of the chat...

Hmm...

It may be the same old words...but i really do appreciate the presence of B. I do know that he has made a trememdous effort in keeping me acompany at my 'rented' place. Hence, i made an effort to cook for him too.
Nothing can be gauranteed but for now, i just wanna trust it.

Well... nothing can be exactly smooth sailing ...

Had wanted to make the fried rice all by myself but B kept 'kah jiao-ing' me...so i have to say it's the result of us together..heehee..

I find it not peppery enough and a bit salty but B says it's just nice...

I have to say i really enjoys making and cooking food for him...except maybe he can help wash the dishes once a while...*hint hint*

Longing for the time that we can stroll along somewhere and chat...time is such a luxury that we have not been chatting for a while...an exchange of updates here and there but it's definitely not enough...okie..i admit i'm greedy...

Something bad happened while on way home last evening. Abit shaken.


=( In any case, i really wish that the police will manage to do something about it.


Damn the asshole. Somehow on the other hand, i pity the family if he's married and with kids.


And i pray that he will be jailed!!!





*********************************************

The nasty incident even had me spoiled my green bean soup. Had it burnt to charcoal black and with the kitchen smelling so bad. Luckily i didn't sabotage my dinner. Else, my dinner will be plain maggie mee.

My salted fish fried rice...ingredients : salted fish, ham, spring onions and egg. A dash of sesame oil, soya sauce and pepper. *yummy* But B said the peppery taste too overwhelming...=(

Feast

Taken by B.

This is the first proper meal i have prepared for B. Not counting into the fried beehoon as breakfast the other time.

=p

On the menu was paper wrapped chicken, cod fish with butter garlic n cai bor, salted fish with bean sprouts and onions omelette...

First attempt on the paper wrapped chicken, luckily, it turned out well. Hee...B said it was his favourite among the 4 dishes. =)

In fact, before preparing this meal, had jokingly told B...i had KFC as a backup...lolx...

It wasn't that easy to prepare a meal for him after all...had found out that during the preparation, ran out of the baking paper to wrap the chix...and the ulu place that i was living at? Didn't have any at all. Could only resort to B helping me to buy after he knock off.

B even asked, "huh, then what time do i get to have the dinner?"

And when he knows i have that bit doubt about the dinner, he jokingly said he knows where the door is...hmpf...

Thank goodness, it all turned out well.

We had our fill. Actual fact: very full de lor...

Coz as usual, i sucks big time at quantity management. What meant for a twosomes dinner...haahaa...was enough for 4pax!!!

Plus, i had a pot of green bean soup for dessert also enough for 4 pax!!!

In the end, we k.o not long after the dinner. Only waking up a couple of hours later to have the green bean soup.

Hahahaha...

In the headlines today was the RY of the NKF issue saying that he didn't know as a bankrupt, he can't travel overseas. Duh...since when can toddlers read newspapers???

In any case, i'm more interested in the news that was on page 6-7. The GST hike that prompts several merchants into raising their selling prices, trying to profit out of the hike.
It seems so obvious that these people out that doing businesses, be it the main players of the market to the small enterprenuers...the increase of the prices does not at all justify the 2%.
For example, the bao dian just located at my office area, from $1.40 to $1.60. duh...
Then they are saying that the increase has been steadily increasing from the suppliers but never did they increase the selling price. Just this time round...they couldn't afford to anymore.
It does seem to be the case too.
But we can't deny the fact that people are still making use of it to profit!!!
Everyone from the suppliers to the logistics to the retailers are up sizing their profit.
Simple equation. The supplier up the price by 10% more...the logistics up another 10%...when it reaches the retailer? 20% lor.

Sigh...

068486

My lucky no. in the duck race. =) My little red pouty mouth ducky. Haha..

1st Prize : $10,000.00

2nd Prize : $5,000.00

3rd Prize : $3,000.00

I'm not greedy...don't have the 2nd prize, am contented with 3rd prize too. Hee...

Anyone interested? Pls contact me...=)

will we realise that we simply can't afford to have regrets? for if we have so and do so, the bad consequences is one part of it...the other part? a lost. memories that can used to store the happiness is used instead for the storage of sadness and regretful actions.
isn't it a waste then?

***********************************************

the bump at the finger joint has not healed yet...stupid bump...thought it was some swell of some nodes but then it seems otherwise...dread going back to the sinseh though...wonder what's my second option can be.

Backache is still about the same...

my physical being is shutting down on me lately...darn...

***********************************************

Had dinner with lao chek last night, together with his colleague and was forced to acompany them for a session of K. Super de boring lor...=(

To make it worse, B's occupied with work lately...and so am i..=(

In love with avocado milk lately...
a must-have during lunch these days...

My poor left palm is in pain ...
All due to a little sprain at the joint of my middle finger. Had wanted to just ignore and since i had felt better from the first day of pain.
But was conjured into seeing the doc nonetheless just in case.
Sigh... in the end, i felt that i may feel better not seeing the doc.

The pulling and twisting of my entire hand...then the NO warning of pricking of my finger to let the blood out to prevent clotting/bruising.

No obvious swell nor bruise initially but was obvious afterwhich. -.-'''

Well, it was said usually after the treatment it's always worse than before. But given a period of time, it will heal.

sigh... ... ...

dumb dumb finger...

all due to overloading from shopping at ntuc. wtf...

Elsewhere, the lives of people are taken away by forces of nature which no one has control over.

Here?... What has been hogging onto the headlines of newspaper are lives torn and devastated by spur of the moment of jealousy?

Seems like the life of a person can be compared to an ant perhaps.

"My 'Fave' Bus Interchange"

This interchange has taught me alot. Especially in appreciating the air anywhere but inside the interchange.
The well lighting of the building has also made me realised that light is something we can't take for granted.
Not forgetting that it has amazingly taught me in toughing the disciplining myself to have a regular and proper housekeepeing for my own property. I'm sure everyone out there is aware that nothing is free in this world. Don't mention the air though. Everything, anything is owned. Privately or governmently. Hence, if the place if filthy, it does mean something. ;)

Mama snakie and i discussed a "doesn't make sense but yet does seem sensible" theory just now.
Told her how i felt abit more awake when i had about 4 hrs of sleep than with 5-6 hours of sleep.
Doesn't make sense mah...since i had a couple of hours more rest, why am i feeling more sleepy.

She said it's due to the 'power sleep' for the 4hrs duration. Coz the body and mind already exhausted. Hence, we were really resting in that 4 pathetic hours.
But when we have 5-6hours...it's neither here nor there...there is the feeling of not enough sleep.
So, it's either the 8 full hours or that little hours of sleep.

Which means, i have to be knocked out by 11pm or simply turn in later at 2am in the morning.

duh!!!

It's independence Day!!!
eh...none of my business lahh...just too bore in the office...that's all...and sleepy le...

Had a rare meet up with chicky last night. Finally!!!
Been 2 weeks since she came back to work after her 3 mths long break.
And the last time we met up was for the "Protege' lor.

And so we built chimneys, gossip, gossip and gossip at raffles place. Haahaahaa...

Glad to know that she is somewhat enjoying her busy work schedule...a real workaholic lor...imagine having to go back office on sat n sun and slough till 3am!!! -.-'''

Well, at least for now till Sep starts we will have more meet up like this.

Favourite Movie of 2007 "Transformer"

Watched the most anticipated movie of the year last evening...well at least to me lahh...
Caught the preview of it during the movie 'Protege' with chicky some time in feb and i fell in love with it immediately, till it says screening in late June 07. And so i waited for it paitiently...

It was worth waiting...

And here it goes, Piggy's rating:

Comedy factor = 4 out of 5

Storyline = 3 1/2 out of 5

Mainly, it so much nicer to see the transformation not in 2D. Though it wasn't in detail and the transformation of such a small car into a huge robot is kinda exaggerating...it's was still awesome.
The funny factor is also the plus plus plus points of it. The humour inside.
At least, it does make up for the rough and blur fighting images...you can't really see the robots in a good fight...just some exhanges of the limbs here and there...the rolling...the gunshots...
Nonetheless, it's a MUST MUST MUST watch movie.
=) Most importantly B and i had enjoyed it...
And really, you lost some, you gain some...
Lesser the fun in watching the movie in a group...nothing beats better than everyone laughing together...felt that the laughter level in the cinema was however a little disappointing...
Now if it's a comedy, i think the minimum pax had gota be more than 2 persons.

Oki, the weekend is gone again in just a blink of the eyelid.
And i really do miss the weekend.
I miss the only time when i can cook for B.
3 weeks ago was fried bee hoon for him as breakfast.
Last night was watercress pork ribs soup for him as supper.
=)

So now the other place which one can easily finds me is teh Ntuc at Hougang Mall...lolx...