Nice or Not Nice, Pleasant or Not Pleasant

I wonder what attributes most to a nice clubbing/pubbing place. The ambience? The crowd? The people you are with? The prices? The snack? The washrooms? Erm... are there any like me who cares about the hygiene of the most important place or am i the weird one.

If i were to list the most important factor to the least important one... it will goes like this:
1) The people im with & the snacks (can both be on par?)
2) The washrooms
3) The ambience & the crowd (same as above... haha)
4) The prices

Not that i'm filthy rich and thus place the prices the least important. Just that the rest of the factors are by my standards far more important to it.

My last weekend was almost a disaster. Initially was fine. We were all fooling around, having fun and toasting shots to one another.

Till... when some got out of hand. Simply out of control.

My point of view: it's ok to have fun. But it's not ok when you become a nuisance or some kind of trouble to others.

The responsibility of one self.

Some how, i'm sick and tired of getting all so worried.

When will they learn?

Perhaps they will never learn. Or perhaps the time hasn't riped for them yet.

Gals, for goodness sake, please wake up to the real world and be sensible. Be aware and really learn from the experiences and mistakes.

As much as i wish to be there for you guys but i can't split myself to look after you all.

Please learn to cherish your ownself.

It saddens me so much to see you guys in that manner.

Fun is not equal to drunk.

True Yoga

I'm considering joining True Yoga. I want to spend my time on things that are more useful and healthy. But i'm afraid it will just be the heat of the moment. Just like when i sign up for the Pilate classes. My attendance was 6/9 lo.

Plus point is, there is umlimited classes for you to attend. And the venue is near to my workplace. Hmm...... this weekend i won't have the time to check out the place. Shall do so next weekend.

Gloom in the Air

Andy has just dropped a bad news to us. His dad has cancer. Anal cancer? Rectum cancer? Ain't very sure about the exact term. He is very vexed about it. Sometime earlier, his younger brother had given in to cancer too. He had struggled for almost a year before leaving his wife and rest of the family.

Life is so precious. So fragile. So weak. So unpredictable.

Crazy about Mango

These days i have been a regular at Mango. A place where Roy introduced me. Noise level? High. Fun level? Very High. Friends whom i have brought with me like the place too. Been enjoying myself at such places. No doubt, it brings me away from the stress i faced at work but, its this what i want? I'm cutting down on the frequency. Not heading to Devils tomorow night. Even thinking of showing the pilot's license on saturday. Well, we shall see...

Come to think of it, Mich's hubby's rule ain't sound that bad after all. Limitation of drinking once a week. Hmm... At least, i don't have to worry about getting late the next day. But then again, it's hard to control and predict. Bottomline? Just do whatever deem happy.

Last night at mango, was with the company of Roy, Daniel, Mich, Kevin n Alvin. Spent our time playing cards and sabo-ing everyone around. We give no mercy when pouring the liqour. But alas, the one who poured the most liqour usually ended up drinking the most. Me too, was not spared from downing one glass with chivas filled more than half of it.

But i was caught surprised when he drank on my behalf. And subsequently the incidents during journey home. It doesn't make sense but the smile turns on automatically when i think about it. Even now... Not that alot of things happened during the journey, except that i just can't helped not thinking about it and smiling and laughing inside my heart. It's actually more hilarious than anything else. Not romantic nor sweet but funny.

Hmm...

20 July 2006

I've just graduated with pilot's license. Lolx....
Can't believed that a short half hour rest turned out to be a concussion for me.

Had rushed off to snakie's house after work, got her some chinese herbs for the fish soup her hubby be boiling for her. Now that she's away from work, there's no one around for me to tease and bully. sobx sobx... still, i'm glad she's doing ok now.

Just realised i have a list of stuffs to do... both work and personal... gosh... didn't realise i have accumulated so much work...

Green files been laying on desk for almost a month...
Dad's claim been on hold... yet to call his ex company yet...
The spring cleaning i have wanted to carry out...
The shopping of furnitures that i need...
The 'die die also must go' visit to the temple i promise myself...
The shopping of groceries... my fridge is SO empty...

But whenever i have the time, i will waste it on sleeping... haiz...

What a chat!

Done another 'amazing' thing. Slept at 6am this morning and woke up at 730am then head to work liao.

After finishing work at 8plus, head down to drinks sessions with the guys and gals. The stress at work lately is piling up on me. Making my body refuses to co-operate too. Ain't even that high, yet having attacks of fainting spells.

But then, it was an enjoyable night. Not because of the fun we had there. But when Roy, Meiyan and i chatted through the night at my place from 2plus till 5plus. Roy shared alot of hilarious stuffs with us and many of it opened our eyes. So much that i'm still trying to digest it now. But i'll definitely jot it down when i have more time.

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Told Roy last night that i feel so much better. Letting go of some 'affairs', away with the hopes, away with the expectations, away with what i felt they should have reacted or felt or thought. Away with the image i have cast upon them when they are truly not.

Just felt that i have 'open' up liao.

35hours

Am squeezing out some time out to jot down what i have done during the weekend and to take a breather. Guess it would be at 7 the earliest for me to leave the office today. Not a very late hour but considering the usual, this ain't normal.

And what does the title implies? Haha.. the no. of hours i spent being outside. Yupz. From the time i left home for work till i got home. 35 hours being outside. From fri morning till sat eve.

Fri night = as promised to my bro, i'll turn up at dbl O and as usual, i did not turn up. Been umpteen times he had jio-ed me to dbl O liao. Yet not once i went and especially on his birthday night. I'm so sorry. Really wanna cut down on liqour slowly. Had i not went for a drink on thursday night, i will turn up one. Really...

Hence, decided to head for a cuppa and a simple dinner with Mich.

I am definitely not used to the smoking and non-smoking zone as designed now by the rules of the government. It's used to be 'indoors or outdoors', but now, there's has to be an additional sentence following, 'smoking or non-smoking'. ARGH!!!!

Called it fate bah... a twist of events allow the opportunity of meeting up with JT. And once again i was bowled over by his gentle and sweet gesture. *I can be such easily bowled over and heart soften*

However, i must admit, the strong pulling force felt initially has been slowly losing it's grip. No doubt, he has the most qualities that attracts me in the guys i've met, but, the fact remains we belong to different worlds. The time i've spent being solo has made me able to face the reality rather than wanting to hide it.

Anyway, back to the dinner, after the dinner, Mich and i decided to head to Mango while JT was too tired to join the fun.

Another twist of events made me spent the night not at home. But, the next day i was able to meet up with Chicky for a cuppa. Not too bad... Got home about 7plus and was out of the house before an hour was up. Haha... was called by Roy to have dinner. Finally got home at 9plus and off to slumberland as quickly as i could.

Sun night was supposedly a night to sleep early. Already resting in bed but was jio-ed to another drinking session by Mich, Kelvin and Kevin. It was a mistake to turn up. Head was aching throughout the journey to Mich's place, during the stay at her home, journey to BQ and during the time at Shin8. Time reached at Shin8? 1230am. Time i left the place? 105am. Stupid me!

I'm lost. lost lost lost lost lost.

Then i realised, there are things i needed to let out but i don't know how.

My New Drive

My honey suggested me something this morning which caused quite an amusement, at least to me... She' s encouraging me to write a short article about relationship when all i had done or rather said, was "it's merely a collision of needs and wants between the judgment of you guys".

I don't deny that i have interests in psychology area, maybe i can do some more reading up and write down what i truly felt and think and observe from the people surrounding me. Kind alike the idea. But then, i'm no writer. I can be quite lost at using the appropriate words. Connecting the sentences.

Hmmm... penny for my thoughts.

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I have finally kinda cleared the misunderstandings.
Though i still don't know what he really think or feel. At least, i have done what i wanted to.
I was very surprised when he called Mich up and asked about why and how long it has been and how was i doing and whether i'm feeling better.

Let nature takes it's course.

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Yesterday finally fulfilled the dinner as promised to Roy since the start of World Cup. Because of WC, i refused to head out unless i can watch the game. Initially was fixed on Tuesday but last minute he forgotten that he had to acompany his gf, hence was postponed to yesterday.

Then, i have to break my own promise. Told myself to stay away from liqour liao yet still go ahead with them to Mango. Haiz... i guess i can never have my original voice back. My throat is permantly damaged le.

What to do.

Then tonight must show face at dbl O, Derrick, another beloved bro of mine, is celebrating his birthday. Really don't feel like going but canot le. Tired and going dry liao. Told him i compensate him next month with a bottle of chivas yet still have to go down because promised liao.

Can i split myself into 2? Though i don't have to work tomorrow but ... i only slept 2-3 hours last night le... damn tired...

what are u?

what kind of a slave are you?

Work slave?
Family slave?
Love slave?
Sex slave?
Friends slave?

All of the above?
None of the above?

Hibernation?

Something happened last night which made me turned off my hp for hours.
What exactly happened? No idea. Didn't even understand why i was so pissed off.

The only thingy i know now is that i'm starting my hibernating program.

I even msg my gal that dun bother to call me for i won't answer. Though i will still be available in case of any urgent matters, but knowing her character, i warned her not to bluff me.

Is it that serious? Actually, not to the extent of not going out bah... but more like, refusing to face the people i don't want to face. Seeing him again will made me feel awkward. It's too difficult to interprete what he's thinking. And i'm giving up. I'm tired.

Very very very tired.

Energy level dipping to the lowest level ever felt.

Sorry folks.

Going to take awhile before i'm back to the normal self.

And enough of alcohol.

Though the beer made me slept soundly last night but the hours are definitely not enough.

Till then.

It's The End.

The World Cup ended with a huge bewildement inside me. What exactly had happened? As much as i have anticipated Italy to win but i wanted the dark horse to emerge as the champions instead. I love Zidane. Yet, what causes him to lose his cool?... duh... blue...

This is probably the last time i will enjoy soccer so much as my favourite players are declaring retirement and some of them with the age catching up on them, making them unfit for the matches.

The player who got me hooked onto soccer = Oliver Kahn.

The players i admire = Cafu, Carlos and Zidane.

And many more whom this World Cup was their last to be involved.

I'm sad.

When the game just started, i was very disappointed that Oliver was a second choice as a goalkeeper. Damn! He's such a strong element in his team lo!!! Finally, he appeared in the last game against Portugal and it has shown that what he has is still there lo!!! He's the man!!!

Now the era is to Klose, ballack, Ronaldinho, Robinho, Kaka, Torres, Villa, C.Ronaldo... we shall wait and see what they can give us. Probably not the first two but the rest because Klose and Ballack already have wonderful record.

Well well... it's another four years later...

Fairy Tales?

I know i have been as much contradicting as my gf. Though i have always try my best to remind her that we should always be firm and decisive and not to regret anything in our lives, live it to the fullest, blah blah blah, somewhat like a older sis to her, yet, i ain't any better.

Guess, it's always like that. You can give advice to others but never to oneself.

I am pinning for a fairy tale yet i'm fully aware that it ain't possible.

A source of dependency is what i'm looking for. Is that true?

Then what is love then?

"It's every gals' dreams and desire to be loved and dote upon"

Me?

I want to find someone whom i can make that person happy. Someone whom i can be at ease with, feels comfortable, sharing the same goals and directions, someone whom we can chat anything under the sun. Someone who can accept me for the way i am and at the same time mould me into a better person.

Yet, i have a list of criterias he must first possesses.

Just that, what if the person who touches me don't have the qualities? Am i to give up?
Of which, i think i did that a few times le.

So what is it... first to find someone who fits all the qualities or to just fall blindly into it.

What am i going for?

Humans are indeed selfish creatures.

TGIF

What diff does a friday mean to me when i can be out pubbing from mon to wed?
No difference.

Nearly went out last night too. If i did, and including tonight's dbl O, my record will be broken.

Thank goodness i didn't.

Today's my boss birthday, nearly forgotten clean about it. Gotten a really cute cake for him, from Spinelle. It's chocolate cake with a soccer ball on top of it and written 'Goal' on it. So cute and in tune with the world cup fever now.

Cheongster???

My darling labelled me cheongster this morning upon seeing my msn nick, "12hrs of sleep for the past 3 days".

Told her i have been out pubbing. Got home at 3am since mon till yesterday. She said i siao liao.

That's what i'm feeling too.

Yet, it just can't be helped. How many of us can just turn away and not helping to least acompany our dearest gf when they are in need?

As much as i don't wana drink so much but i do enjoy the fun too.

Haha.. pity that very few hunks were in sight last night.

We had our fair share of fun and jokes. Though we didn't quite achieve what we aimed, still we were glad that at least sardine and his cockroach pal made an effort to come down.

Mich was saying how addicted we are to Chivas. But in my opinion, it's purely alcohol. The de-stressing, laughter and 'flirting'.

Previous 'hiong' record was 4 nights in a row at ICB.

Now its 3 nights in a row at Liquid.

I'm deserting beer for Chivas. What's next?

I'm thinking about cockroach. Hmm... and i think a new name is needed. Cockroach is just too.. erm... yucky... haaha

And sardine? Wonder how i came out of that name?... Mich and i were so amused by the name sardine. Lolx...

Counting down mins to knock off and head home.

Finally i can get some rest yet at the same time, "huh, no programs tonite, sianz le"

Haha..

???

"You have just been thru a emotional trauma, we shall skip this topic"

How frightening is it to reveal out one's thoughts and feelings?

They all say women are hard to understand. I say men and women are the same.

Complicated creatures.

Aftermath

My oesophagus is kinda burnt as a result of excessive erupting of gastric fluid. Now, i suffer from difficulty in swallowing, even plain water.

Oh well, it's not end of the world yet.

I'm still very much alive and kicking. And i'm happy. =D

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Times flies, four more days, World Cup will be over. And all of my favourite teams have already been kicked out. I'm so sad.

In my opinion, Argentina showed the best team playing, Spain showed the most zest and drive, and fanciful, skillful footworks goes to the Brazilians. But haiz... Now, its the Italy and perhaps France or Portugal. Though i don't really like France, but i'm rooting for France this round.

My finals will most likly be spent at Botak's house with a huge pool of soccer fanatics. Haha.. Hopefully, its really a huge group bah. More fun that way.

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I have a little surprise the other day. An old friend caught up with me. Haha.. of course i remember. I think probably he's the one who don't remember bah. Back in primary school, we used to hang out together after classes and spent our time at the playgrounds. Perhaps i should go n dig out the photos we used to take in primary school. Haha..

But when in secondary, things seems alittle distance maybe because we were in different level bah.

Still, it's always a nice feeling to have someone catch up with u. =) Brightens up the day.

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The Day I Got Drunk Again

Last night was a relief for me. The much suppressed feelings/agitations and helplessness was released. I've finally cried out. Mich said i have been holding on for too long. Yah.. been acting tough n strong for too long. And finally last night, some factor trigger off the cry out.

First time when i was drunk, was at Chinablack. At that time, liqour still wasn't my friend yet. Hence, i was defeated by it easily.

Last night, my intention was very clear. I just want to be drunk. Downing several glasses, with each glass bottoms up. In no time, i was gone.

There won't be a repeat for this.

First time drowning in sorrows. Last time allowing myself to be in such a state. Not worth it.

Next time, it's purely to just enjoying the fun and not spoiling the liqour.

Well, for the least, i have my 3 kakis around me. And was rather touched by botak, when he msg Mich to ask if i'm still alrite.

Finally, i sees some good points in him. haha...

Disllusion Illusions

Wanted to blog about happy stuffs. Like the night of Mich's birthday party. But i can't.

Nearly wanted to cry today at work.

I need to let out.

I am feeling so frustrated and disillusion about evert aspects of my life now. Ok, maybe not so much on work. Kinda settling down now, and planning to move on to higher level.

Personal growth been put to a halt. All because of my goodwill to aid my galfrd. Now, finally begin to feel the disruption in life. I was told i wasn't firm enough to wake her up.

But, there is always a limit to what i can do and say. I don't belong to that kind of extremely straight forward person.

Then in love, i know i was being too sensitive. Yet, some of the signs were there. Initiating to know more about each other, blah blah blah, turns out to be all craps.

I can't trust anymore, can i?

But then again, can i be trusted?

With all the clubbing and merry making, deep down, i know too well i can't be taken for serious.

But this is so unfair!!! I want to cry FOUL!

This is only one side of me.

How true is it? How do you know?

How well do you know about me to judge in the first place?

My life now revolves around O bar, Devil's bar, Music Underground lately but that doesn't mean this is going to be dominating!

I'm so sick of all these discrimination!

Fine!

Accept me for who i am.

Be it temperamental, childish, wild, eccentric or stupid.

From this moment, i swear to my God, Love ceased, except for my friends, family, colleagues and my interests. Never will i fall into the pool of deceits and illusions. My immunity is getting weaker with every attempt in love, though at the same time, my defences seem to be growing so much. We all have our choices. I made my choice to be with my defence. Or if there is ever a guy who can touches me the way i was affected now, please God, spare me from the torture. For i know, that guy won't be real. Once bitten twice shy. At least from this type of guys.