Don't anyhow say.

I was reading about Tay Ping Hui's blog and came to know how an interview with an reporter through email correspondences turned out disastrous.

The reporter had "abused" what he had said or rather written.

In short, he twisted alot of facts of what he had "said". Thankfully there was this email which proved what he had exactly told the reporter.

And then it came to me.

Even for someone who is effectively and eloquently well versed in languages, with such powerful gasp of languages, is still unable to get away from such verbal attacks. Ok, he's an celebrity.

But what im saying is, how about those who are less effective in their languages. Come on, even ppl who are grad can't speak good english or mandarin, right?

In fact, there can be so many meaning interpretated for one sentence.

Just like taking a coin for instances. It doesn't have both sides only, what about the circumference side of it.

A glass of half filled water, there are not just two scenarios of it.

What the eyes see, may not be the truth.

And then, when one truly meant what he or she had said, supposed to meant it in a good way, will become malicious in the eyes of another.

Or in a situation where, words are put into the person's mouth when it doesn't exist in the first place.

It definitely feels suck to be being misunderstood.

What's worse? When you ever tried to explain, the person doesn't buy it.

And then there are people who criticise you for having no rights to make whatsoever comments just based on they have heard. WTF???

I feel lousy.

Then, i came to realised. I shouldn't 一般见识.

I am answerable not only to myself, but also to my loved ones, my family and my friends.

I know what i did or am doing, is to the most righteous of what i strive to be.

I am not perfect.

But for the least, i tried my best not to judge, to criticise.

At the point of moment, i wasn't happy. It's bound to be. Then, i thought about it, my 'trying hard to be open-mindedness' tells me, this is life.

Why bother.

I just want to be happy. People who misunderstands you, don't even try to understand in the first place or attempt a second chance to revert, does not deserves that kind of reaction from me.


不管人家怎样对待我们，我们都必须保持风度，不辱骂，不动粗，不跟他们一般见识." how many of us can actually do so.. being a gentleman despite what others did to us, hurting us whether physically or verbally, putting words into our mouth, misleading our integrity, honor and reputation. we shall not lower ourselves to their same level.

From now onwards, i shall be more careful of what i'm saying.

To the person who misunderstood me, you are seeing me with tainted eyes.
To the person who said i have no rights, you didn't even know what i was saying and my exact words. I did not judge you but i have my freedom of speech to comment. Like wise, shall i say that you do not have the rights to comment anything about me???

Stop being childish. People, please open your eyes bigger...

Long awaited postings comin soon...

I'm feeling extremely lazy these days...
Today is Saturday, although it's not a official work day for me but i do have some plans.
Eg, heading back to office and get some stuff done.
But i woke up with a diarrhoea and body ache all over..
Went back to sleep and then it's 12pm already.
Did abit of chores and washed some clothes, surf abit here and there.
And decided to make use of these times to blog what i shd have blogged a long time ago.

And also, i do hope that i will make it into a disclipined habit that i will jot down all the parts and parcels of my little pig's life here.
Then looking back, thinking how silly i was before. ;)

Some thing happened recently.
An incident which brought me excitement and yet at the same time, fear.
My hopes were slowly diminishing as the days goes by.
Perhaps, after all, what i was hoping to feel is not so at all.
I have had pinned too much hopes.

Still, i really do am happy for some one is there for u, my BF.

Purpose in life...

I read an article in FB this morning.
About aims and goals in life.
What was yours?

And then i remembered. I didn't have any specific goal in my life before.
Except when i was still a kid. But once i went past the PSLE, all the goals and aims just simply vanished with the time lost.

I wanted to be a lawyer, after watching numerous HK dramas.
I wanted to be a nurse after being inspired by my cousin.
That seems to be it.

Then, i never really wanted to be anything.
My life just simply went along with the time.
Aimlessly.

Till lovestruck and being blinded.
All i wanted was someone to dote me and probably spoiled me as a process.
And i was spoilt.

I didn't harbour anything big and magnificient.

Just having a simple life will do.
Being a Happy-Go-Lucky.
Eat Live and Enjoy.

I even thought i would just be like many others. Having a job. A job, not a career.
Having a partner beside me. And also, kids perhaps?

But now, all are so different.

I still don't have a career.
I have a partner.
I have no kids.

But i'm not happy.

I'm finding faults here and there.
I'm not satisfied.

What do i want?
What is the purpose that i am searching for?

Not that i wish to be a high achiever.
I know my capabilities.
I am just contented with a job. So long it feeds me well.
It does. In a way. I supposed. I have to live within the means, don't i?

I want to smile and laugh.
But i can't bring myself to lately.

Work bothering me? Yes. plus continuous nodding.

Partner? i have to admit, its a yes too.
Some how, things seem different.
Or is it me who has been asking for too much.

I am lost.

Totally lost.

It's Over. The End.

I'm back to work today.
The funeral is over.
Today my dad will be collecting his bones and ashes together with my cousin and auntie.

For the past 2 days, i have been feeling not myself.
I have to face the people which i have been struggling so hard to ignore their presence.

People whom i have not met for more than 10yrs.
People whom i ought to be closed with.
People whom i should call, family.

This is not a family.
At least, not the kind that i had wished i was brought up in.
I know i can't choose my origins.

I can't changed them.

And i had chose to run away from them.
I disliked them. They all have a hand in destroying this family tree.

Which family only gathers together when there is a funeral? Or should i emphasize, only when there is a funeral?

This family is a joke.

Now, the only thing i felt immersely heartwrenching is, there goes the family line.

My grandmother. Who take pains to endure the WWII, took care of her 4 sons and 2 daughters.
The eldest son got married and had 3 sons and a daughter.
The second son chose to remain a bachelor.
The third died young.
Me? The only result of the youngest boy in the family.

Perhaps one would felt that, well, the eldest son has got 3 boys to carry the family line.
How wrong. Because the destiny and fate, nobody can control.
The youngest boy died young when he was 30yrs old.
And i think somehow there was a curse for being the 2nd in the family not to get married.
Lastly, the eldest boy, whom have no luck at all. Childless. The couple have been trying for years. Really years... ...

So that's it.

The end of the family line.

Mixed feelings...

I can't find any suitable words to describe my feelings right now, or since last evening.
When i was told of the news.
I don't know if i should teared. Or i ought to.
B was asking if hes a close uncle.
I don't know how to answer that Q.
I can't say hes not close to me. Neither i can't say he is that close to me.
Can't someone advise me?

Since i was born, till i was almost an adult. For 19 years i was living under the same roof with him.
But for the next 10 years that came along, i don't recall seeing him anymore.
Not a visit when he was still well and alive at the new flat unit.
Not a visit too when he was ill and hanging there at the rehab hospital.

Cruel?

I don't know.
I probably never knew how the family ties works in my family.
How close or how sparse the links actually are.

Now that he is gone.

I would say it makes no difference in my life.

Yet, i'm bothered by it.

I can't say i'm not bothered by his death. But not like it's really making an impact on me because of the issue. It's the issues that are stringing along making me all wired up. The thoughts that link with it.


The other thoughts.